ARE YOU SPREADING YOURSELF TOO THIN?

Posted by beckybalzano In: Blog No comments

Are you spreading yourself too thin all the time, feeling that you’re not doing anything well? Do you feel tired, exhausted like you’re trying to do everything? Literally torn in two with guilt and obligation?

Do you feel your not concentrating in any area of your life because you’re often stressing about the other areas .. e.g feeling you should be working when you’ve taken time off to be with the kids, feeling guilty you’re not with your kids or partner when you’re at work? Struggling to fit in that PhD? Or the house renovation?!

Rushing from one thing to the next with no breathing space, no leeway if something goes wrong like not filling the car with petrol or not preparing for that presentation or having to cancel tickets to that show because you doubled booked yourself again?

But why does it matter? Your life kind of works ok right? Well think about if you don’t change things. Think for a moment about being 70,80 years old, in an armchair, thinking back on your life. Did you do the things you really wanted to? Or did you miss out on a lot because your mind wasn’t really there.. it was thinking about the huge list of stuff you need to do.. write that report, go to the meeting, buy the new school uniform, do the shopping, catch up with that old friend.

It matters because if you don’t address it you just get more stressed, unhealthy, possibly end up making more mistakes and being more disorganised and time poor.

Have you felt yourself becoming resentful, getting to boiling point and really just wanting to tell everyone to F off?!

It also matters because you won’t be the best version of yourself and this not only affects you, your decisions, your actions but the people around you. If you’re not in a good state of mind and body how can you achieve results, help others and be a loving person to be around?

But probably most importantly it affects your TIME…the one thing we can’t buy more of or get back.

What if you could change all this?

How would it feel to have enough self assurance to say no to some things and to be able to prioritise what really matters and have healthy boundaries in place?

What if you could feel calm, relaxed, organised and in control of all those plates.

Maybe you’d like to put a few down? How would that feel?

What if you could re-claim some precious TIME!?

Well the good news is it’s possible to resolve this, I have been in you’re shoes and I know it’s possible to make changes. I have also worked with both women and men just like you to help them achieve this quickly and in a lasting way. After all you’d like to start re-gaining some guilt free time and the ability to say no as soon as possible wouldn’t you?

So lets get started! Here’s are my suggestions on how;

  • Recognise your beliefs. This is key, a few examples are listed here. Which apply to you? Or are there others that you‘re holding onto? Our unconscious mind holds beliefs that were at one time (usually childhood) helpful, you may not even be aware of some that are driving your behaviour. Do any of these strike a chord with you?
    • I have to do everything
    • I am the only one who can
    • it’s a woman’s job to look after everyone
    • its a man’s job to look after everyone
    • if I say no to work it will close a door of opportunity
    • it needs to be done now
    • it should be possible as other women/men do it all
    • I have to always be there for every school play, sports day etc
    • I’m a bad mother/father if I don’t do xyz and abc!
    • It means I’m uncommitted in my job if I work part-time
    • My needs/wants/dreams don’t matter
    • It would be selfish to put myself first
    • I’ll do something for myself later
    • I should just stop moaning and be grateful for all the stuff I have
    • Dreams are not meant to be fulfilled
  • Create new beliefs , including affirmations, some examples are:
    • I am successfully achieving what I set out to do.
    • I am fully present in my relationships.
    • I take time to nurture myself.
    • I value myself enough to release old relationships that are draining me.
    • I spend my time doing activities that are important and significant to me.
    • I have clarity on what really matters to me
    • I prioritise what really matters to me
  • Develop and nurture a strong sense of self worth and the ability to put healthy boundaries in place.
  • Be mindful. Spend some time being present. More on this in my Blog called ‘Are you Getting into Trouble or Truth’
  • Set goals – what do you REALLY want to be doing with your precious time – what’s really important to you ? How clean & tidy does your house need to be? Is that your goal or someone else’s … Mrs Stepford for example ?! What career goals do you have. What goals do you have on your bucket list? Click here for a FREE Goal Setting exercise.
  • Get someone on board to help you , friend, partner, coach , someone who you can trust, who understands where you’re coming from and can help you identify your successes and times you may need to make adjustments in your thinking or beliefs or become more aware of them.

I hope this has been helpful and you can immediately put some or all of these suggestions in place.

I also offer a limited number of FREE personal Discovery calls to get some immediate ideas, clarity and help uncover beliefs. You can book yours here but please bare in mind that I only have so much valuable time myself so only offer a few spaces which get booked quickly!

For more tips & motivations you can follow my page at

http://facebook.com/beckybalzanocoaching

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